Textually frustrated! Again.
Dec. 14th, 2019 06:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ratbonesRemember that thing about finishing All-Consuming before the holidays/my birthday/Yuletide story reveals? Or how I said I was "back" on that last post, two weeks ago? Uh. Lol.
I've had a busy, stressy week. This won't be news to a lot of you, but I don't handle interruptions of my routine well, especially if they involve lots of people, and especially especially if I'm expected to make conversation (out loud? With my mouth? I, a text-based organism?) and look happy about it. I can handle one day of pretending to like Christmas carols, but an entire month? Mercy. Please. This is presumably only going to get worse over the next 2.5 weeks. I'm finding all of the trappings of the holidays overstimulating and unfun, which is not new, but does seem to be getting worse as I get older and, depending on your point of view, more attentive to my own needs or just grumpier.
Consequently, my focus is all out of whack. I am still making fic progress, it's just slower, and I don't know exactly when I'll feel comfortable posting. The fic is almost done (which means...probably 3 chapters to go, knowing me) and I don't want to post anything that I'm not totally sure of, this close to the end of such a big undertaking. I am also behind on a bunch of other fandom stuff: comments here and on AO3, plus some responses to people.
This isn't just me feeling guilty, to be clear. Writing and this fandom have become really important to me, and I'm uncomfortable and impatient and sort of lonely when I get dragged away from them for too long. Which is only increasing the Grinchiness levels.
On the bright side, I should say, the reason I'm so agitated about getting back to All-Consuming and getting it right is that I'm very happy with this fic and excited about what I have planned for the ending. I know I've got it handled, I just need the time and mental energy to get there. So that's a good feeling.
Be patient with me till January. I do love seeing everyone so busy with exchanges! Gives me something to spectate while I'm all discombobulated.
I've had a busy, stressy week. This won't be news to a lot of you, but I don't handle interruptions of my routine well, especially if they involve lots of people, and especially especially if I'm expected to make conversation (out loud? With my mouth? I, a text-based organism?) and look happy about it. I can handle one day of pretending to like Christmas carols, but an entire month? Mercy. Please. This is presumably only going to get worse over the next 2.5 weeks. I'm finding all of the trappings of the holidays overstimulating and unfun, which is not new, but does seem to be getting worse as I get older and, depending on your point of view, more attentive to my own needs or just grumpier.
Consequently, my focus is all out of whack. I am still making fic progress, it's just slower, and I don't know exactly when I'll feel comfortable posting. The fic is almost done (which means...probably 3 chapters to go, knowing me) and I don't want to post anything that I'm not totally sure of, this close to the end of such a big undertaking. I am also behind on a bunch of other fandom stuff: comments here and on AO3, plus some responses to people.
This isn't just me feeling guilty, to be clear. Writing and this fandom have become really important to me, and I'm uncomfortable and impatient and sort of lonely when I get dragged away from them for too long. Which is only increasing the Grinchiness levels.
On the bright side, I should say, the reason I'm so agitated about getting back to All-Consuming and getting it right is that I'm very happy with this fic and excited about what I have planned for the ending. I know I've got it handled, I just need the time and mental energy to get there. So that's a good feeling.
Be patient with me till January. I do love seeing everyone so busy with exchanges! Gives me something to spectate while I'm all discombobulated.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-18 03:53 am (UTC)It's one of my better wordses and I'm glad you're enjoying it. :p
This sounds familiar! I only have so much energy and so much attention to go around, and social competence takes more out of me than most people, as does tuning out sensory input. Add adult responsibilities (and fun "responsibilities", i.e. fandom/writing) and at a certain point, something's gotta give. I've also bailed on events that are just too much/too noisy -- better to be a "party pooper" than to get overwhelmed and shout at someone or start crying or something. >.>