Textually frustrated! Again.

[ratbones]

Remember that thing about finishing All-Consuming before the holidays/my birthday/Yuletide story reveals? Or how I said I was "back" on that last post, two weeks ago? Uh. Lol.

I've had a busy, stressy week. This won't be news to a lot of you, but I don't handle interruptions of my routine well, especially if they involve lots of people, and especially especially if I'm expected to make conversation (out loud? With my mouth? I, a text-based organism?) and look happy about it. I can handle one day of pretending to like Christmas carols, but an entire month? Mercy. Please. This is presumably only going to get worse over the next 2.5 weeks. I'm finding all of the trappings of the holidays overstimulating and unfun, which is not new, but does seem to be getting worse as I get older and, depending on your point of view, more attentive to my own needs or just grumpier.

Consequently, my focus is all out of whack. I am still making fic progress, it's just slower, and I don't know exactly when I'll feel comfortable posting. The fic is almost done (which means...probably 3 chapters to go, knowing me) and I don't want to post anything that I'm not totally sure of, this close to the end of such a big undertaking. I am also behind on a bunch of other fandom stuff: comments here and on AO3, plus some responses to people.

This isn't just me feeling guilty, to be clear. Writing and this fandom have become really important to me, and I'm uncomfortable and impatient and sort of lonely when I get dragged away from them for too long. Which is only increasing the Grinchiness levels.

On the bright side, I should say, the reason I'm so agitated about getting back to All-Consuming and getting it right is that I'm very happy with this fic and excited about what I have planned for the ending. I know I've got it handled, I just need the time and mental energy to get there. So that's a good feeling.

Be patient with me till January. I do love seeing everyone so busy with exchanges! Gives me something to spectate while I'm all discombobulated.

Comments

[frith_in_thorns]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time! Routine changes are tough and all the CHRISTMAS!!! everywhere is very stressful. (I have three more days of term and then I'm going to live in a hermit blanket fort at my in-laws' house, they're used to me.)

Obviously I'm VERY keen to continue reading All-Consuming, but it's ok, take your time! That said, I never take this advice, you've seen me stressing about the exact same things. I totally get wanting to prioritise writing and fandom and finding it really hard when other stuff like life and tiredness and stress gets in the way.

[kimboo_york]

I'll be brutally honest: I have not been reading your fic (or, for the most part, anyone's!) b/c of trying to hit deadlines on fic exchanges myself. So I'm sorry I haven't been more supportive! But I love the story and am looking forward to diving back into it. Please don't feel pressured or guilty, I'm sure we all understand that kind of life stress affecting our ability to create. Self care is a thing! An important thing!!! ♥

[naye]

I'm happy and excited that I have two chapters of All-Consuming to read right now this moment, and the fact that you're looking forward to writing the rest is making me even moreso! \o/

I, a text-based organism?
...I have never identified with a description more. I may start using it. Too accurate.

I was in the final throws of finishing Kaleidoscope last December and the holidays threw all the spanners in my writing works so I feel you!

[umadoshi]

I'm sorry things are stressful and overwhelming! *hugs* Take care of yourself as much as you can.

I know I've got it handled, I just need the time and mental energy to get there. So that's a good feeling.

That is awesome. *^^*

[winter_blossom]

I'll admit that I have no idea what Christmas stress is like because it's not a huge holiday where I live (our Christian population's pretty small and I'm not one myself), but every December at least a couple of my online friends make posts re: the whole thing being a real hassle to deal with same as you, so, you have my sympathies? Or whatever is the most appropriate supportive comment in this kind of situation? (This is probably the opposite of encouraging, sorry ^^)

That said: wow, All-Consuming is almost done? I'll probably be able to start reading it properly again from the beginning as an end-of-exams treat in February, then! *Cheers* Good luck on the home stretch!

[clevermanka]

Hurray for being happy with your fic and excited about the ending! Hope you find a way to settle yourself during this hellish time of year.

[rlyqueer]

Ahh the holiday stress! Wish we could just chase it away with a broom. Best of luck making it through and doing what you can to take care of you!

It's definitely frustrating when that sort of thing gets in the way of what you love, but I think it's awesome that you know where you want the fic to go — you can get it there, and you're allowed to take your time doing so! Also, people totally understand getting busy and stressy. I know I can relate!

I hope things smooth out for you soon!

[extrapenguin]

*hugs* Fingers crossed for peace and quiet! The December holiday season really is something. All those interruptions...

if I'm expected to make conversation (out loud? With my mouth? I, a text-based organism?)
:D I'm sorry, but this is also a hilarious turn of phrase.

Re: preferences changing as we get older, I've noticed that too – sometimes it feels like my social skills and sensory oversentitivities are correlated. The better I become at faking eye contact, the more I'm incapable of dealing with air conditioning! *g* I suspect it's due to me moving from the countryside to a city, and also stuff like having to dedicate brainpower to more and more adult responsibilities, so my brain is too stressed to deal with noises.

[tinny]

I hope you'll get through all the family/other company extroverted obligations over the holidays. <3