I should be working on my fic right now
Nov. 10th, 2019 12:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ratbones1. Rattiekins is cold. Needs hugs. Or at least a blanket and some tea. It was 75 degrees here a week ago, and today's high was barely above freezing. I don't hate winter, I just want more autumn first. :(
2. Got a box from Bangkok this week: presents from my aunt! It included a notebook with a kitty on it, two pens with hedgehog-shaped toppers, and a shirt that both fits me and suits my tastes. Everything was wrapped in colorful paper and tied with curly ribbon. Am I too old to get hedgehog pens from my auntie for no reason? I'm glad she doesn't think so. Don't tell the rest of my flock of relatives, but she's my favorite.
3. The anxiety I had when I started posting Zombie WIP was that nobody would like it. The anxiety I have now is that several people like it and I must not disappoint them. I much prefer the second one, but it's still a thing, and now I also have anticipatory anxiety about what to do with myself and my words when I get to the end. These are good anxieties to have, though. These are anxieties about wanting to make sure that I and others continue having a good time. Since when do I get to worry about things like that? It's new.
4. According to my own schedule, I'm meant to post a chapter on Tuesday. That might not happen. I've never promised anyone I'll post a chapter on a certain day, but I've also not fallen behind my own personal deadlines since August, and that was for external reasons. This is just...I procrastinated a lot this past week? I have a little section here, prior to endgame events, where I just have to let the characters figure out how they're going to muddle through, but after the last three chapters, in which every scene had to happen exactly how it happened, I got a bit spoiled and now I don't FEEEEL like muddling. As soon as I have a chunk of time -- tomorrow evening, I hope -- I need to sit down and just bang out a few imperfect scenes and see what's going to work. I do recognize that the procrastination has something to do with the anxieties mentioned in #3.
5. Every item on the list got longer than the previous one, so I've made a short one at the end to prove that I can stop myself if I want to.
2. Got a box from Bangkok this week: presents from my aunt! It included a notebook with a kitty on it, two pens with hedgehog-shaped toppers, and a shirt that both fits me and suits my tastes. Everything was wrapped in colorful paper and tied with curly ribbon. Am I too old to get hedgehog pens from my auntie for no reason? I'm glad she doesn't think so. Don't tell the rest of my flock of relatives, but she's my favorite.
3. The anxiety I had when I started posting Zombie WIP was that nobody would like it. The anxiety I have now is that several people like it and I must not disappoint them. I much prefer the second one, but it's still a thing, and now I also have anticipatory anxiety about what to do with myself and my words when I get to the end. These are good anxieties to have, though. These are anxieties about wanting to make sure that I and others continue having a good time. Since when do I get to worry about things like that? It's new.
4. According to my own schedule, I'm meant to post a chapter on Tuesday. That might not happen. I've never promised anyone I'll post a chapter on a certain day, but I've also not fallen behind my own personal deadlines since August, and that was for external reasons. This is just...I procrastinated a lot this past week? I have a little section here, prior to endgame events, where I just have to let the characters figure out how they're going to muddle through, but after the last three chapters, in which every scene had to happen exactly how it happened, I got a bit spoiled and now I don't FEEEEL like muddling. As soon as I have a chunk of time -- tomorrow evening, I hope -- I need to sit down and just bang out a few imperfect scenes and see what's going to work. I do recognize that the procrastination has something to do with the anxieties mentioned in #3.
5. Every item on the list got longer than the previous one, so I've made a short one at the end to prove that I can stop myself if I want to.
no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 09:11 pm (UTC)And yes, these are good anxieties to have, but the stress is still real!
I can guarantee that whatever you come up with, if it's something you like, I will like it too. Because I love your brain with its plotty ways and delicious slow-burn and ALL the feels, and if you wrap your story up so you're satisfied yourself I know I will have the BEST time reading it. ♥
no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 10:15 pm (UTC)This whole comment is very warming also and I may be having some kind of emotions, you are too kind to meeee. I had an ending for this fic before I even had a beginning, it's just some of the late-middleses that I've yet to work through. So. Yes. Hhhh. I can't wait to share the rest with you and everyone. Once I've worked all of it out myself.