Generalized Everything Update
Aug. 8th, 2021 02:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ratbones-I wrote a fic in July that I'm not posting, so that was an interesting thing. I don't feel like I failed in the writing, exactly, more like I embarked on an endeavor I should've known was doomed, but I'm kind of proud of myself for sticking it out and finishing something bad. Now I know what that looks like.
-Yes there's a new project now but don't tell anyone I told you.
-I keep meaning to talk about my meditation practice as it pertains to writing, but I'm at such risk of sounding like a fucking youtuber. I will just say that after the failed endeavor I took 10 days off trying to write to do a meditation course and ended up not using all 10 days, because I just had to get some ideas down by day 8. (I finished the course but I cut the writing vacation short.) Being too well-trained to mindfulness has been an unwanted interruption to idea-generation mind-wandering in the past, but it's a totally necessary interruption to being scattered and stuck in a rut and trying to do too much at once. You gotta open the doorway between the world and your heart, maaaaan.
-Pretty sure UPS just drove right past my house on Friday without attempting to deliver my package to me. Cool. That's a new tea set, my guy, I need that. For tea. It's important.
-cyberbrain has descended into the Ace Attorney rabbit hole, luring me into a replay of the games. Ace Attorney is my longest-running fandom, if I'm allowed to count 15ish years of on-and-off lurking, and I'm back to lurking there a bit. I think I'd started to take Guardian's fandom for granted, which is not to say that Ace Attorney's fandom is bad in any way, just that it's less suited to me, e.g. it's harder for me to find fic I want to read -- whereas the Guardian tag is like, 50% or more fic I want to read. Which is a ridiculous standard that nothing should ever be measured against.
-Also because ofcyberbrain, I watched a 2018 Japanese drama called dele. It's got a central "bromance" which I felt was a tad light on bromantic tension, but the characters are great and the cases-of-the-week are brilliantly written, often painful, and usually in some way hopeful. One of the main guys is a wheelchair user and I was really impressed by the writing and acting around his disability. It's pretty inconsequential to his personality and storyline, and he can do some very cool shit with his wheelchair. Anyway, recommended. 8 episodes total.
-I'm only on episode 8 of my Guardian rewatch. Which isn't because it's going badly. It's going great. I finally have the HD screenshots I need...from the first 8 episodes. Lots of stuff to say about episode 8, most of which I think has already been said better by others, but my favorite little moments in the whole Zhao Yunlan tummyache sequence are 1. Shen Wei snatching Zhao Yunlan's medicine back when Zhao Yunlan says he'll swallow the pill dry and 2. Shen Wei smoothing out Zhao Yunlan's unwrinklable casual clothes after folding them. This man is distraught and angry over Zhao Yunlan's utter failure to care for himself and the only way to soothe it is with excessively fussy caretaking and I love him. I also love Zhao Yunlan curling up in a tighter ball of pain and sads when Shen Wei scolds him. Dumb baby. <3 Not to neglect the books scene, which I know makes some people cringe but look, it's Shameless Zhao Yunlan, he thought he was gonna win Shen Wei over by running a scam, he needed this. But poor Shen Wei. This episode is made of evidence that he should question his taste in men, not that there's any hope left for him now. At least he gets to embarrass the shit out of Zhao Yunlan for it, and the shutdown only makes Zhao Yunlan more thirsty, if anything. Gotta get new tactics there, bud. I hope it's obvious by now that I pick on Zhao Yunlan because I adore him. Oh of course this is the longest point on the list. I guess I'll leave it there for now.
-Yes there's a new project now but don't tell anyone I told you.
-I keep meaning to talk about my meditation practice as it pertains to writing, but I'm at such risk of sounding like a fucking youtuber. I will just say that after the failed endeavor I took 10 days off trying to write to do a meditation course and ended up not using all 10 days, because I just had to get some ideas down by day 8. (I finished the course but I cut the writing vacation short.) Being too well-trained to mindfulness has been an unwanted interruption to idea-generation mind-wandering in the past, but it's a totally necessary interruption to being scattered and stuck in a rut and trying to do too much at once. You gotta open the doorway between the world and your heart, maaaaan.
-Pretty sure UPS just drove right past my house on Friday without attempting to deliver my package to me. Cool. That's a new tea set, my guy, I need that. For tea. It's important.
-
cyberbrain has descended into the Ace Attorney rabbit hole, luring me into a replay of the games. Ace Attorney is my longest-running fandom, if I'm allowed to count 15ish years of on-and-off lurking, and I'm back to lurking there a bit. I think I'd started to take Guardian's fandom for granted, which is not to say that Ace Attorney's fandom is bad in any way, just that it's less suited to me, e.g. it's harder for me to find fic I want to read -- whereas the Guardian tag is like, 50% or more fic I want to read. Which is a ridiculous standard that nothing should ever be measured against.-Also because of
cyberbrain, I watched a 2018 Japanese drama called dele. It's got a central "bromance" which I felt was a tad light on bromantic tension, but the characters are great and the cases-of-the-week are brilliantly written, often painful, and usually in some way hopeful. One of the main guys is a wheelchair user and I was really impressed by the writing and acting around his disability. It's pretty inconsequential to his personality and storyline, and he can do some very cool shit with his wheelchair. Anyway, recommended. 8 episodes total.-I'm only on episode 8 of my Guardian rewatch. Which isn't because it's going badly. It's going great. I finally have the HD screenshots I need...from the first 8 episodes. Lots of stuff to say about episode 8, most of which I think has already been said better by others, but my favorite little moments in the whole Zhao Yunlan tummyache sequence are 1. Shen Wei snatching Zhao Yunlan's medicine back when Zhao Yunlan says he'll swallow the pill dry and 2. Shen Wei smoothing out Zhao Yunlan's unwrinklable casual clothes after folding them. This man is distraught and angry over Zhao Yunlan's utter failure to care for himself and the only way to soothe it is with excessively fussy caretaking and I love him. I also love Zhao Yunlan curling up in a tighter ball of pain and sads when Shen Wei scolds him. Dumb baby. <3 Not to neglect the books scene, which I know makes some people cringe but look, it's Shameless Zhao Yunlan, he thought he was gonna win Shen Wei over by running a scam, he needed this. But poor Shen Wei. This episode is made of evidence that he should question his taste in men, not that there's any hope left for him now. At least he gets to embarrass the shit out of Zhao Yunlan for it, and the shutdown only makes Zhao Yunlan more thirsty, if anything. Gotta get new tactics there, bud. I hope it's obvious by now that I pick on Zhao Yunlan because I adore him. Oh of course this is the longest point on the list. I guess I'll leave it there for now.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-08 07:54 pm (UTC)I would love to hear more about your meditation course since it seems to have helped out a lot with writing, and easily distracted/low energy is my issue right now. I promise I won't think you are a Youtuber, even if the kind of Youtubers I watch are sedate middle-aged people who talk about watercolor a lot. XD
Earlier, I wrote a recap of the 'SW deals with ZYL's disaster apartment' scene for sid_guardian, with a lot of self-indulgent screencaps, because I live for this kind of character dynamic and also they both look so good.
This man is distraught and angry over Zhao Yunlan's utter failure to care for himself and the only way to soothe it is with excessively fussy caretaking and I love him. I also love Zhao Yunlan curling up in a tighter ball of pain and sads when Shen Wei scolds him. Dumb baby.
SIGH, you said it, all these things are Very True. I love them both so much, and 'excessively fussy caretaking' is so accurate that it makes me cackle. Daaww.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-09 03:46 pm (UTC)I got enough questions that I might write a more extensive post about the meditation thing after all...I wouldn't mind sounding like a middle-aged watercolor youtuber so much, lol. For now though, re: writing, I don't think the specific course I took is all that important, but for me, developing a skill with meditation in some form and deliberately practising it is a very strong defense against the constant scatteredness of existing in the world in the year 2021. I had been alternatively "too busy" to write, and then "too tired" during my free time to focus on much of anything, and some mental clutter-clearing and refocusing on my values was deeply needed.
Ohhh I thought someone had posted about this scene but I totally lost track of actually reading it, thanks for linking! I might or might not manage a comment there but "I have an ow, but I don't need any help, but please notice I am suffering, but also I am FINE" <- lol yes exactly, perfect. Also the thing about Shen Wei putting his finger over his nose. They're adorable I love them.