AO3versary!
May. 14th, 2020 04:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ratbonesSeveral things happened a year ago today! I picked a screenname, made my AO3 account, and uploaded my first work. Yes, all in one day. Clicking "post" was one of the most terrifying/exciting things I've done, ever, in my entire life. I'd been reading Guardian fic daily for months at that point, and I'd seen how nice people were in the comments, but it felt like everyone already knew each other, and also I'd also seen how stupefyingly talented everyone was. I was fully prepared to disavow the entire venture, abandon the account, and deny any connection for the rest of my life.
Aaand instead I posted 204k words in my first year on AO3. More than half of those are in a freakin' zombie novel, which. If I had made a list of possible things that I would do last year, I would not have hit upon that. I would have guessed "run for public office" and "develop a cocaine habit" ahead of that. That is still wild to me. Not just All-Consuming, but the whole 204k. Like. Did I do that? Really?
I only kept writing because of feedback. I didn't know if I would be able to write anything that anyone else would enjoy reading; I didn't have any data to suggest that I could. If you've given me some data, thank you. Like, it's not just that people have been nice to me -- people have been amazing to me, I feel super comfortable here, and I've made friends, which is in itself pretty astonishing -- but y'all have indicated to me that the things I've discovered I like making are also things that other actual humans want. What a happy coincidence! Also, kind of the meaning of life, I think?
Okay, I love everyone here, I love this fandom, etc., enough of that. News I haven't posted, because I'm real bad at social media-ing:
-I finished The Untamed...um, two months ago or something. I enjoyed it, but I didn't connect all that strongly to the cast of characters as a group, and I don't ship anything enough to be motivated to write fic or even really read it. I've read a little femslash, but. Turns out Guardian owns my soul, which is kind of relief, tbh.
-Relatedly, I've never mentioned I watched HIStory3: Trapped way back when it aired. It feels weird saying it was too tropey for me when, dude, Guardian, but I think it was because the setting wasn't SF/F? I dunno. I adore Meng Shaofei, though.
-There are Russian translations of Flesh from Bone, Soul from Flesh and its cracky coda. The same translator is posting All-Consuming as a WIP right now. I can't read a word of Russian, but I am astounded at the amount of time they have put, and are putting, into my work. ❤
-I feel like I'm seeing a bunch of bingereaders come through in my kudos emails. New Guardian fans? Lockdown readers? Or maybe it's just me. Regardless, I love seeing people devour what I've written. I'm curious if anyone else has noticed the same thing, though.
-For all kinds of reasons, my writing pace approached zero for a couple of months earlier this year. I clawed my way back to the kind of pace I need to keep my head in a WIP, but it was still harder than it had been in 2019, and I have reason to think that it's going to get harder yet in a couple of weeks. That was kind of sitting at the back of my head, stressing me out, so about a week ago I decided: new rule. 100 words per day, every single day. This turned out to be exactly what I needed. I've written more than 100 words every day so far, but the point is that the bar is so low that I can reach it really quickly, so "I don't have time to write today, it'll be better tomorrow" is not an excuse that is happening anymore. And it's enough to keep my mind processing questions and problems, so I don't have that inertia of not having written in three days and not remembering what I was doing or what I needed to do next. Plus, I just feel better. So. It's what I need to be doing now, and when it's no longer what I need, I will stop. But sylleblahsome has joined me for the moment, and we're both feeling pretty upbeat about making steady progress.
EDIT: Free space to gripe about Trapped and/or The Untamed below! If you want to complain, or share what you did and didn't like, please have at. If negativity will bum you out, please don't scroll. <3
Aaand instead I posted 204k words in my first year on AO3. More than half of those are in a freakin' zombie novel, which. If I had made a list of possible things that I would do last year, I would not have hit upon that. I would have guessed "run for public office" and "develop a cocaine habit" ahead of that. That is still wild to me. Not just All-Consuming, but the whole 204k. Like. Did I do that? Really?
I only kept writing because of feedback. I didn't know if I would be able to write anything that anyone else would enjoy reading; I didn't have any data to suggest that I could. If you've given me some data, thank you. Like, it's not just that people have been nice to me -- people have been amazing to me, I feel super comfortable here, and I've made friends, which is in itself pretty astonishing -- but y'all have indicated to me that the things I've discovered I like making are also things that other actual humans want. What a happy coincidence! Also, kind of the meaning of life, I think?
Okay, I love everyone here, I love this fandom, etc., enough of that. News I haven't posted, because I'm real bad at social media-ing:
-I finished The Untamed...um, two months ago or something. I enjoyed it, but I didn't connect all that strongly to the cast of characters as a group, and I don't ship anything enough to be motivated to write fic or even really read it. I've read a little femslash, but. Turns out Guardian owns my soul, which is kind of relief, tbh.
-Relatedly, I've never mentioned I watched HIStory3: Trapped way back when it aired. It feels weird saying it was too tropey for me when, dude, Guardian, but I think it was because the setting wasn't SF/F? I dunno. I adore Meng Shaofei, though.
-There are Russian translations of Flesh from Bone, Soul from Flesh and its cracky coda. The same translator is posting All-Consuming as a WIP right now. I can't read a word of Russian, but I am astounded at the amount of time they have put, and are putting, into my work. ❤
-I feel like I'm seeing a bunch of bingereaders come through in my kudos emails. New Guardian fans? Lockdown readers? Or maybe it's just me. Regardless, I love seeing people devour what I've written. I'm curious if anyone else has noticed the same thing, though.
-For all kinds of reasons, my writing pace approached zero for a couple of months earlier this year. I clawed my way back to the kind of pace I need to keep my head in a WIP, but it was still harder than it had been in 2019, and I have reason to think that it's going to get harder yet in a couple of weeks. That was kind of sitting at the back of my head, stressing me out, so about a week ago I decided: new rule. 100 words per day, every single day. This turned out to be exactly what I needed. I've written more than 100 words every day so far, but the point is that the bar is so low that I can reach it really quickly, so "I don't have time to write today, it'll be better tomorrow" is not an excuse that is happening anymore. And it's enough to keep my mind processing questions and problems, so I don't have that inertia of not having written in three days and not remembering what I was doing or what I needed to do next. Plus, I just feel better. So. It's what I need to be doing now, and when it's no longer what I need, I will stop. But sylleblahsome has joined me for the moment, and we're both feeling pretty upbeat about making steady progress.
EDIT: Free space to gripe about Trapped and/or The Untamed below! If you want to complain, or share what you did and didn't like, please have at. If negativity will bum you out, please don't scroll. <3
no subject
Date: 2020-05-15 02:21 am (UTC)You are not the only one who didn't strongly connect with the other fandoms you mention. I watched Untamed and I was inspired enough to write exactly one one-shot story (and read a few...there are a. lot. and some of them do hit some of my kinks) but I'm with you in that it really doesn't own my soul the way Guardian does. I wrote 25k of my current Guardian WIP in April, and 7k for my Exchange fic, so Guardian is definitely winning!
Trapped...I had a hard time getting into it, tbh. I did finish it eventually, but. Okay, I haven't criticized the show because so many of my friends love it, and I don't like to piss on things people enjoy. But it bugged me that the characters were cops/mafia members that acted like high schoolers. ^_^; I get that it was supposed to read like fanfic, but it just didn't work for me. So you're not alone!
Great job on the 100 words per day! *cheers you on*
no subject
Date: 2020-05-15 04:46 am (UTC)This post is a safe space for complaining about Trapped, haha. I don't want to squeeharsh either, but it's comforting to know I'm not alone in my meh. I absolutely hear what you're saying - I was excited for Trapped because it was a BL drama about actual adults, rather than students, but then lots of the show felt straight out of a high school drama. I was also bored by both the central plot and Tang Yi by the end, iirc. :/ Totally just my subjective experience, of course.
Hee, thanks! Just gotta keep chipping away.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-15 05:57 pm (UTC)It' so nice to know I'm not the only one who felt that way about Trapped. ^_^; Also, *looks around* If there's a competency kink, Meng Shaofei hit the anti-competency anti-kink for me, particularly in the first few episodes. THERE I SAID IT. *breathes a sigh of relief* Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
Selfishly, I'm glad to know that you, like me, are still invested in Guardian. I can't wait to see what else you write!
no subject
Date: 2020-05-15 07:28 pm (UTC)Ahaha I'm very glad to provide a space for this <3 That's totally understandable. Meng Shaofei was a goddamn mess for the first few episodes. I think I only really started to like him after he floored that homophobic dude? THAT was enjoyable for me, lol.
*throws Guardian love confetti* I'm super glad that you and your writing are still here too!
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 04:31 am (UTC)It is a GOOD HILL built on TRUTH.
Selfishly, I'm glad to know that you, like me, are still invested in Guardian.
*g* I had the same reaction. And I genuinely love The Untamed, and know that a lot of people are actively and successfully multifannish! But I still selfishly hope Guardian will continue to be where my friends' hearts are for a good long while.