A cursed day
Apr. 15th, 2020 10:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ratbonesYesterday, I dropped a wet plate and broke it at lunchtime, accidentally posted the first chapter of my new WIP as a oneshot, realized I hadn't even thought of a chapter title at all as I was frantically editing it to be multichaptered, then went to reheat some leftover baked zucchini for dinner and dropped that as well, breaking the bowl, then, after eating something else instead, went to take a bath before I could do any more damage and knocked over the glass I was drinking water out of. The glass didn't break, but I did pour 16 ounces of water on the tile. And then, when I was brushing my teeth before bed, I knocked over my (mercifully unbreakable stainless steel) tumbler and spilled another full cup of water on the floor. And then, I woke up at 4:21 AM and couldn't fall back asleep for two hours, for no discernable reason.
So...look, I was clearly under a curse. That's just a cursed day. I mean, for one thing, I've had those bowls and plates, four of each, for eight years, since I moved out of my parents' house, and I never broke a single one in that entire time.
In blessed contrast to all of that, the reaction to my posting a new WIP has made me all warm and fuzzy. It's a bit like walking into a party with a case of beer. I imagine. I am not the kind of person who brings the beer. Or goes to parties at all. Which is sort of the point? It does such good for my mental health to be able to contribute things that make people happy by doing something that makes me feel energized and excited, rather than exhausted.
While I've fought (and I do mean fought) to get my writing-brain back online, I'm still very behind on things I want to read and comment on, so I might show up really late to some people's fics, or just drop kudos silently. And I haven't had much energy for DW or really talking to anyone but @sylleblahsome. Times are weird and everything is hard. Zero pressure on anyone else to comment on or reply to anything of mine in a timely manner or at all. That's always true, but it's extra true now.
And now, since it's been a while, a selfie. Not sure if it's visible, but there are water droplets on my glasses. It was raining a bit. I plopped down in the grass in the rain because, look, it might be pandemicking out there, but it's still April and I'm still allowed to go outside (rural area, plenty of available socially-distanced grass) and goddammit I'm going to enjoy it. Anyway here's my face, goodnight everybody.
So...look, I was clearly under a curse. That's just a cursed day. I mean, for one thing, I've had those bowls and plates, four of each, for eight years, since I moved out of my parents' house, and I never broke a single one in that entire time.
In blessed contrast to all of that, the reaction to my posting a new WIP has made me all warm and fuzzy. It's a bit like walking into a party with a case of beer. I imagine. I am not the kind of person who brings the beer. Or goes to parties at all. Which is sort of the point? It does such good for my mental health to be able to contribute things that make people happy by doing something that makes me feel energized and excited, rather than exhausted.
While I've fought (and I do mean fought) to get my writing-brain back online, I'm still very behind on things I want to read and comment on, so I might show up really late to some people's fics, or just drop kudos silently. And I haven't had much energy for DW or really talking to anyone but @sylleblahsome. Times are weird and everything is hard. Zero pressure on anyone else to comment on or reply to anything of mine in a timely manner or at all. That's always true, but it's extra true now.
And now, since it's been a while, a selfie. Not sure if it's visible, but there are water droplets on my glasses. It was raining a bit. I plopped down in the grass in the rain because, look, it might be pandemicking out there, but it's still April and I'm still allowed to go outside (rural area, plenty of available socially-distanced grass) and goddammit I'm going to enjoy it. Anyway here's my face, goodnight everybody.
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Date: 2020-04-16 02:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 02:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 02:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 03:21 am (UTC)It's good to see you! And yay for fic posting--I'm glad your brain's letting you get words down, even if it's unreasonably hard, and having the first chapter to read tonight was lovely.
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Date: 2020-04-16 08:18 pm (UTC)I'm just glad I didn't slip on a piece of zucchini and take a comedic pratfall into the pile of shards.
It's really good to be doing some of the normal writing and fandom-socializing. Things are hard, but "wasting" my free time makes me feel way worse. Thanks for reading the chapter! :D
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Date: 2020-04-16 11:10 am (UTC)There seem to have been loads of us having complete reading/writing blocks at the moment, which I guess isn't at all a surprise with all the everything. (Hah I just checked another tab and found that I'd half-written a comment on your fic and then forgotten to finish and post it. Good job, me. I was about to say something about my current attention span but I guess this neatly illustrates it.) I'm so glad you're able to write again now though! ♥
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Date: 2020-04-16 08:30 pm (UTC)Yeah, the fragmented attention situation is real. Squeezing at least a little reading and writing in around the edges is proving helpful/necessary for keeping me sane, but it's not easy. It's...kind of nice that everyone is suffering the same thing together? (But also really horrible, obviously.) Thanks for wringing a comment out of your frazzled attention span! I'll be keeping up with your WIP too. <3
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Date: 2020-04-16 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 08:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-16 08:36 pm (UTC)hee, yw!
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Date: 2020-04-16 04:12 pm (UTC)Times are weird and everything is hard.
The 2020 tagline.
But seriously: congrats on the writing I am super impressed and so excited to have more fic from you to read! (Eventually. Currently all words are hard but I am trying to shake this and just do the reading I want so desperately to do.)
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Date: 2020-04-16 08:45 pm (UTC)Aww thanks! I love dandelions. (I'm sympathetic to weeds in general.)
Isn't it just. :/
Hehe, thank you! I'm going to try to keep it up because it really does seem to help, even when it's a bit of a struggle. But. I totally understand "all words are hard." Yeah. I'm FINALLY reading Carte Blanche, and I will try to leave some comments because it's SO GOOD AND SO STABBY and it deserves lots of them, but words have been hard.
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Date: 2020-04-18 02:11 pm (UTC)100% agreement. Yes. They have.
And "GOOD AND SO STABBY" is a fantastic comment and I am so pleased so you absolutely don't have to think of anything more to say. Just enjoy the, uh. Stabbing. :D
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Date: 2020-04-20 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-21 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-18 12:32 pm (UTC)You are doing absolutely the right thing with the no-pressure.
I am behind on reading and commenting on fic as well. I have to take my time, too.
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Date: 2020-04-20 02:39 am (UTC)hee, thank you!
Yeah, I guess we all have to be lenient with ourselves right now. There's so much good stuff to read, though!