ratbones | It's been long enough that a list developed.

It's been long enough that a list developed.

Um...I'm back? I guess? When I say I'm going to be gone, I post again within a week, and then other times I spontaneously vanish for a month. I don't know why I bother with the concept of planning.

-There is one chapter left to go in All-Consuming. I plan (*weeps*) to post a little followup-y treat a week or two after the last chapter goes up. There will be a post here about the science stuff in the fic, as several people have said that would be interesting or useful, and I've always wanted to write a research paper with dirty jokes and swears in. I might also post something later on about writing process stuff, if I can figure out what would be interesting to people? I know that I like reading others' writing meta but I'm such a baby writer and it feels slightly presumptuous? I probably have something interesting to say though, if I edit my rambling down.

-I started watching The Untamed and I'm up to episode 8. (Please no major spoilers!) So far I'm enjoying myself. There are so many talented actors! Pretty fight scenes! Gorgeous sets! Gorgeous people! And the shippy stuff has made me make squeaky noises a few times. I have no idea what degree of fannishness this thing is going to inspire in me, if any. I'm obviously a slow starter. I do already have a big hearteyes crush on Wen Qing, though. Shh. Don't tell me anything. Just let me suffer at my own pace.

-I don't like to kill spiders. The fast ones kind of yeek me out, but they eat pests and don't actually do anything bad except for looking creepy. I tell myself they're just really small eight-legged cats. So I don't kill them, but there's this one in my bathroom, and I've seen it three or four times now, and it's one of those fast-running ones, and last night when I got out of the shower it was sitting on my glasses. Don't. Don't do that. Please no.

-This would be a good time for me to start deciding what to write next. I think it's sort of happening? I'm inclined to write some short (or shorter, anyway) stuff, because I have some ideas sitting around, but in my limited experience I am more comfortable in the middle of a major project. I have a loose concept for a longish original piece, and maybe I'll tinker with that while writing shorter fics, but I'm not sure that will actually help, because it's only going to fragment my attention further. Maybe I'm worrying too much about it; probably, when I've finally put the cork in All-Consuming and its peripheral material, I'll have the impulse to write something.

-Since I started writing fic, I've stopped regretting every single thing I post on the internet. I just regret everything that's in my own voice. I can't look at my own old entries here, they distress me.

-@sylleblahsome has posted an excerpt of one of our conversations about Zhu Yilong. Please enjoy our adorable banter.

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(SPIDERS.

In theory, I appreciate spiders for dealing with other pests in the home.

In practice... if they show themselves, they get anywhere from brushed off the surface to squished. :( My heart will be weighed down with a million spider corpses when Thoth and Osiris judge me for the afterlife.)

Oh no, the senseless violence, the accrued misdeeds! Well, I'm not perfect either. While I've grown to tolerate spiders and even find some cute, if I see a house centipede, I will hunt it across the house until it is dead. Or else it could be anywhere. Eeeegh. (Do...do you have house centipedes? If you're not familiar, DO NOT look up a picture.)

-Since I started writing fic, I've stopped regretting every single thing I post on the internet. I just regret everything that's in my own voice. I can't look at my own old entries here, they distress me.

YES. I feel an affinity with every part of this. ♥

It's SO GOOD to know I'm not alone on this. It sucks and I wish I could stop feeling that way, but at least I'm in good company. <3

I'd def be interested in ur writerly meta! Esp bc you're a newer fic writer and I am too so I'm like very 👀 curious about ur thoughts n things!

Also Wen Qing is the best. Love her.

Just call me whenever you have a spider problem and I'll come on down to relocate the lil fella! Usually I let them be roommates pulling their weight by munching on other pests but yeah sometimes there's the oddball that's gonna be moved out to the great outdoors lol.

Also, this is why public journaling is wild to me? Idk how people do it without self editing the fuck outta themselves. Is there a balance between that and being authentic? Don't know but I try lol.

And lastly...that chat log is. Golden. I loved it. 😂

Ahh thanks for expressing interest in the writer-thoughts! I'll see if I can kick my ideas together into something sensible.

I'm very glad to hear people saying they like Wen Qing -- I feel slightly safer in letting myself gaze dreamily at her now.

Please come take my spider away, lol. Last night I had clean clothes laid out in the bathroom and I found the same damn spider lurking on my UNDERWEAR. Do Not Want!!! I guess next time I'd better put it in a container and put it outside.

I feel like I'm more authentic after editing...I can never quite say what I mean the first time, even offline. But, yeah, it's also possible to edit too much out of self-consciousness, which also makes me cringe. Objectively, I guess this is like looking in the mirror and poking at tiny flaws nobody else will notice, though.

And lastly...that chat log is. Golden. I loved it.
we're Wacky :P

Ah heck I shoulda prefaced that my interest in hearing ur writerly thoughts comes with no pressure whatsoever! If you get to it, hell yeah I will def read, but if not, no worries at all. ☺

And yeah damn Wen Qing is staggeringly gorgeous. Also her heart, ugh. So big. And she's so talented. I'm 100% here for her, always.

Also wow that spider is trolling you hard. Rude lol! Would def transplant the lil trickster for you!

Making the words go is...hard. So I can understand feeling more authentic after editing. I think for me I'm very aware of what I share and how I phrase things, so what I present is pretty curated. I am cringing as I type this lol bc that sounds Not Great. But at the same time, it's natural to present different personas for different situations so authenticity isn't supes black and white? big shrug

But yeah, "Objectively, I guess this is like looking in the mirror and poking at tiny flaws nobody else will notice, though." -- very this!

Oh don't worry about it, I wouldn't have offered up the idea of the writing-process post if I wasn't looking for people to encourage me to work on it, haha. I'd like to have it for myself to look back at later as well.

And yeah damn Wen Qing is staggeringly gorgeous. Also her heart, ugh. So big. And she's so talented. I'm 100% here for her, always.
I'm just continually getting more and more attached to her. She's so brave and smart and good??? Help???

I got fed up, scooped the spider into a glass, and threw it outside, following

xparrot's suggestion to scold it for being cheeky, which made it less creepy. lol.

I think for me I'm very aware of what I share and how I phrase things, so what I present is pretty curated. I am cringing as I type this lol bc that sounds Not Great. But at the same time, it's natural to present different personas for different situations so authenticity isn't supes black and white?
Oh I think I see what you're saying. I used to feel like this a lot more when I was on popular social media. Like, there's not one true genuine self, IMO, and it's normal to be different in different contexts, and if I'm self-editing to facilitate making real connections with other people, that seems fine. But some social frameworks incentivize presenting oneself as...kind of a product, in a way that just closes off real conversations? Or anyway that's what I was doing, and I didn't like it. I find Dreamwidth very different (and more like the Good Old Internet, where finding people who were my kind of weird and genuinely befriending them was easier for me.)

(This has been waiting in my inbox until I had an actual brain cell to respond! Such an interesting topic honestly.)

Like, there's not one true genuine self, IMO, and it's normal to be different in different contexts, and if I'm self-editing to facilitate making real connections with other people, that seems fine.
Yes, you said it way better than me! Everyone has different facets, so as long as it's self-editing to have those genuine conversations, it's actually a productive thing to do. And it's perfectly natural.

But some social frameworks incentivize presenting oneself as...kind of a product, in a way that just closes off real conversations
I see this as well, the sort of commoditization of the self which ends up becoming more of a character. Which isn't sustainable at all, especially when wanting real connections. (And hey, there's definitely space I think for not wanting that!) But yeah, I've enjoyed the Dreamwidth community and how people share things on here. It does have that oldschool vibe! The web designer in me has a few bones to pick with the format, but the spirit is wonderful and people have been lovely. Admittedly I'm still trying to unlock how to really get to know people on here, because I'm used to rapidfire chat formats like Discord, but overall the sense of community is really nice here. I'm really glad your moving to Dreamwidth has let you find and friend people more easily!

I see this as well, the sort of commoditization of the self which ends up becoming more of a character.
Ooh that's a good way to put it. And yeah, there's a time and a place for that, too, it's just that it's become kind of hard to find places that are NOT designed to favor that.

That said, there are definitely some me-specific reasons why I like DW in particular. I am a slllowwww communicator, in general, and I don't really have to make first-time introductions (which I hate) very often here, because mostly people already know who I am from AO3. So I'm biased because DW caters to some of my specific quirks. But -- okay, web design is way outside my wheelhouse, but I can imagine you'd have some gripes, lol.

And yeah, there's a time and a place for that, too, it's just that it's become kind of hard to find places that are NOT designed to favor that.
Yeah, probably something to do with how those are also the platforms that really highlight the engagement features like shares, likes, and comments—and often, the more socially commodifiable you are, the more engagement you get. DW is such a simple journal format and it also doesn't have any algorithms playing with our feeds, which helps with the organic feel I think.

I am a slllowwww communicator
I feel this lol! On one hand I really like that DW doesn't have that instant gratification culture with commenting/conversations. But on the other hand, it's something I feel pretty guilty for, and the longer I wait to comment or respond, the less likely I am to do so because I might convince myself it's "too late". In that sense, I appreciate more rapid-fire chatting platforms because when I am feeling social, I like to be able to bang out short and fast responses that are usually more casual than how I comment on DW and AO3.

Also omg bless DW it's so grassroots but it's so not mobile-friendly jkdlasj. I definitely have a few gripes, but that's my major one. 😂

Yeah, probably something to do with how those are also the platforms that really highlight the engagement features like shares, likes, and comments—and often, the more socially commodifiable you are, the more engagement you get.
Absolutely. I mean, I think the bottom line is, DW has no financial interest in keeping me staring at DW for as many minutes as possible, so it has no reason to toss me approval cookies (e.g. likes and shares) or manipulate my feed to promote content that will keep me engaged. That business model obviously makes a lot more money, but disincentivizes weird ramblings and mundane personal posts and...well, the kind of stuff you put in a journal.

I totally understand the guilt and feeling like it's too late to comment/reply! I think for the most part late comments are very welcome, but knowing that, I still convince myself I'm too late, all the time. I love the extensive, thoughtful exchanges I have here and on AO3, but there's definitely a place for chatting alongside that, for more regular, casual contact with people.

Also omg bless DW it's so grassroots but it's so not mobile-friendly jkdlasj. I definitely have a few gripes, but that's my major one.
Ahhh yes. My kingdom for a functional DW mobile app. Even an ugly one, I don't mind!

DW has no financial interest in keeping me staring at DW for as many minutes as possible
Exactly! DW is basically just a straightforward journal with limited engagement capacity focused purely on communication (simple commenting and DM system), which is a breath of fresh air. I completely skipped the Livejournal phase back in the day, so I'm still a little starry eyed about it having come from social media platforms like Tumblr and Twitter lol.

I think for the most part late comments are very welcome, but knowing that, I still convince myself I'm too late, all the time.
Ahhh this is my biggest mood! Why do our brains recognize that for other people it's totally chill, but when it comes to us we're like, "But no..." People are absolutely fine with late responses to comments for the most part, and generally just appreciate the effort and the actual engagement. Brains are very silly and I'm trying to get better at chilling out on this particular thing lol.

I love the extensive, thoughtful exchanges I have here and on AO3, but there's definitely a place for chatting alongside that, for more regular, casual contact with people.
This is something I haven't had in years, so it's a bit of a culture shock and I'm still acclimating. I love it too, though! We can really dig in on here and on AO3. 😊

My kingdom for a functional DW mobile app. Even an ugly one, I don't mind!
You took the words right outta my mouth LOL! Maybe, one day... dreamy sigh

I completely skipped the Livejournal phase back in the day, so I'm still a little starry eyed about it having come from social media platforms like Tumblr and Twitter lol.
I only ever lurked on LJ (well, I was a kiddo, too, but I was a fandom kiddo) so actually using DW was pretty new to me as well. I was on Tumblr every single day for years, though, well after the death of LJ. I met some great people on there and had a lot of positive interactions, but it really got compulsive in a way that was not good for me, so I love DW for not doing that to me.

This is something I haven't had in years, so it's a bit of a culture shock and I'm still acclimating. I love it too, though! We can really dig in on here and on AO3.
I'm just super happy that people are willing to have these nerdy conversations with me, lol. I think part of it is the culture of Guardian fandom, too? Like, we're an older and somewhat more navel-gazey population already, and then the platforms encourage that, maybe.

Oh look I replied late! One point in the chillout column for Ratty :P

I am similar with spiders -- fundamentally creep me out a bit, but I don't want to kill them, and I find them easier to take if I talk to them like a cat and scold them for being silly babies as I put them in a glass and toss them outside.

...But they should not be hanging around things that you are going to pick up or put on your face, N O.

The posted chat excerpt is golden, proper care is very important, you don't want to neglect a Long-ge!

And I am so looking forward to reading All-Consuming, I have heard very good things...!

Yeah, spiders can be cute sometimes if I'm thinking about them the right way! Scolding them for being silly babies = awwww. I just really do not want to end up with one on my face accidentally. My feelings will change rapidly.

Sylleblahsome and I are very concerned with Long-ge welfare! It's serious business.

And I am so looking forward to reading All-Consuming, I have heard very good things...!
Eee. I really hope you end up enjoying it!

Wen Qing rocks! I shall say no more. Hope you continue to enjoy the show! I love it so much!!!

I also love spiders. Living semi-rurally, we always had big house spiders (we'd always call the biggest one Boris, for some reason). Sadly, now that I have cats, the spiders don't tend to live long.

Thinking of them as small eight-legged cats is brilliant!

The fact that people here seem to be mostly in favor of Wen Qing is reassuring to me, haha.

My kitty kills mice regularly enough to have a designated mouse corpse drop-off location (right next to my desk. Thanks, cat.) but when she finds an arthropod, she just...watches it. Sometimes she'll kill it by accident through too much curious poking, but mostly I have to deal with them myself. I do try to leave the little eight-legged cats alone to do their thing!

we'd always call the biggest one Boris, for some reason
CUTE. When I was a kid, we called the largest toad in the garden (different toads on different days, I'm sure) Prince Henry. :P

My kitty kills mice regularly enough to have a designated mouse corpse drop-off location

My kitty's mouse-corpse-drop-off location is 'anywhere in the dining room... or the hall where innocent humans can step on them on their way to the loo'.

we called the largest toad in the garden (different toads on different days, I'm sure) Prince Henry.

Did anyone ever attempt to kiss it? ;p

My kitty's mouse-corpse-drop-off location is 'anywhere in the dining room... or the hall where innocent humans can step on them on their way to the loo'.
I'm going to have to apologize to mine for the snark. Her choice of location isn't that bad after all.

Did anyone ever attempt to kiss it? ;p
Certainly not me, I didn't want to risk being stuck with a handsome prince!

I'm hastily wrapping up my shorter Guardian fics in the Marked For Later pile in preparation for All-Consuming's completion! And I can guarantee I'll be in the camp interested in the DVD commentary. I'm writing one for Ghost Story, too, and I'm very much a baby writer as well!

Also, I am flat terrified of spiders, so well done, you.

I'm hastily wrapping up my shorter Guardian fics in the Marked For Later pile in preparation for All-Consuming's completion!
oh goodness, hehe. Meanwhile, my Marked for Later grows and grows...maybe I'll take a week off from making stuff just to catch up on reading. I'll make an attempt at the DVD commentary, and I'll definitely be interested in yours too!

Learning to cohabitate with spiders has been a process, lol. I'm, uh, exercising my capacity for compassion.

Spiders! I'd rec you Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky for spiders in space, but, uh, it's a thick book and you're busy.

I started watching The Untamed and I'm up to episode 8.
So you've seen Lan Yi and Baoshan Sanren? What'd you think of that scene?

I'm inclined to write some short (or shorter, anyway) stuff, because I have some ideas sitting around, but in my limited experience I am more comfortable in the middle of a major project.
I guess you could try out a medium-sized project (20k?) and see how that makes you feel? Also, please post your writerly meta, I wanna read it.

I'd rec you Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky for spiders in space, but, uh, it's a thick book and you're busy.
I'll put it on the forever-snowballing list! Someday.

So you've seen Lan Yi and Baoshan Sanren? What'd you think of that scene?
My notes say "The bunnies were harbingers of the coming of the Exposition Lesbian." There's my hot take! They gay. :P (That makes it sadder, though.) It's a really PRETTY scene, too.

I guess you could try out a medium-sized project (20k?) and see how that makes you feel? Also, please post your writerly meta, I wanna read it.
Penguinfriend...if I knew how to aim for a wordcount...lol. I thought All-Consuming was going to be 75k-ish. OOPSIE. I do think that I have something that might be over 10k but under 30k in the plot bunny pit? Maybe? I could give it a shot. I'll also give the meta a shot!

"The bunnies were harbingers of the coming of the Exposition Lesbian."

Just thread-hopping to say LOLOL!

There's my hot take! They gay. :P
Rattiekins, your take is as cold as my Antarctic homeland. *g* They are super gay and obviously so! I can promise that there's fic for them, though idk about fix-its.

Wordcount-aiming is one of those things that comes with practice ime? Eventually one gets a grip on the natural lengths and there's less "this was supposed to be done 25k ago!" Before that, though, it's a long string of "why is this not ending yet???"

Rattiekins, your take is as cold as my Antarctic homeland. *g* They are super gay and obviously so!
ahaha, I'm glad to hear that! I was semi-immune to spoilers before because I didn't know who was who and I'm bad with faceless names, but now that I know the characters, I'm staying wayyy out of the AO3 tag, so I have no idea what the fandom is doing!

Wordcount-aiming is one of those things that comes with practice ime?
Yeah, I'm sure I'll be better at predicting my own writing behavior when there's more past behavior to draw from. That might be a ways off yet. I have a pretty decent sense of what's going to fit into a typical-for-me chapter length, at least.

I'm staying wayyy out of the AO3 tag, so I have no idea what the fandom is doing!
Me too, but I did write one (1) fic with those two, so I can confidently say that at least one fic of them must exist! *g*

Ahhh, the femslash fairy godpenguin strikes again!

That is not a place for spiders, however one feels about them in general! (Unless someone is an actual spider lover, in which case, okay?)

I'm going to really miss "All-Consuming", but I'm also keenly excited to see how it ends! And I'm looking forward to whatever you write next.

I can't look at my own old entries here, they distress me.

This part makes me sad, so I'm sending extra hugs.

*hugshugshugs*

This particular spider has really been giving me practice at calming the fight-or-flight response. Eep.

I'm going to miss All-Consuming, too, tbh. On some level I'm ready to have done with it, but I also feel somewhat lost. Well, I have to believe that the next thing(s) I write will be fun and good too!

This part makes me sad, so I'm sending extra hugs.
<3 thanks. It's a very old, familiar feeling for me, but I still wish it would just go awaaaay.

I hope you don't mind a sudden comment from a semi-random passerby. I am bad at fic commenting but I've been enjoying All-Consuming SO MUCH; I kind of resent you getting me this invested in the zombie apocalypse, but your Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei... oh my. I will try to leave a proper AO3 comment on the final chapter!
In the meantime, I happened across a random Zhu Yilong interview (as one does) and immediately thought you needed to see it, if you haven't already. Partly because he is just absurdly adorable, but also because of his comment around 5:03...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1An920ILdo

I absolutely don't mind the comment, you're welcome here any time! Also I recognize you from around. ^^

I'm so pleased that I've infected you with the zombie apocalypse! Villainous laughter goes here. And don't fret if you can't formulate an AO3 comment. Of course I'd love to receive one, but I'm not so good with leaving comments myself, so I understand. I'm super happy to know that you're enjoying the story and how I've written the characters.

Regarding the interview...aaaa. AAAAA. Uh, for anyone skimming the comments, that interview clip somehow contains a spoiler for All-Consuming through chapter 9. Zhu Yilong is SO CUTE here -- I love the hotpot talk, and that the first hobby he thought of was basically napping -- but omg I accidentally made his dream come true! Sorta! :D Thanks for bringing it to my attention, I'm seriously beaming.

You don't need to feel presumptuous. Talking about writing process is always interesting! (And we all think we're worse writers than we actually are, I'm convinced of that.)

It's fun that your muse is thinking about the next project already. I'm sure it will take form in time. <3

-Since I started writing fic, I've stopped regretting every single thing I post on the internet. I just regret everything that's in my own voice. I can't look at my own old entries here, they distress me.

a) yay! b) I feel the same. My old entries make me sound like a crazed 13-year-old. Even the ones that are only two weeks old. /o\ I swear I felt completely normal when I wrote them. They apparently just don't keep well. Oops. :D

Please enjoy our adorable banter.

I did! <3

You don't need to feel presumptuous. Talking about writing process is always interesting! (And we all think we're worse writers than we actually are, I'm convinced of that.)
Ahh that's probably true. I've had trouble whipping my writing process thoughts into shape for sharing, but that may just be me overthinking it.

I'm anxious to have another project in the works, but I could probably stand to chill out for a week or two and let my ideas percolate, heh.

I feel the same. My old entries make me sound like a crazed 13-year-old. Even the ones that are only two weeks old. /o\ I swear I felt completely normal when I wrote them. They apparently just don't keep well. Oops. :D
I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone, but at the same time I'm glad it's not just me! I'm pretty sure we only sound cringey to ourselves, at least?

I did! <3
:D

Hiii, I am HOARDING All-Consuming - I read the first few chapters I think a while ago, and then realized that no I absolutely needed to wait until the whole thing was done so I could just, well, devour. It's so damn intense and just riveting. <3

And just fyi I would love to read anything you write about your writing process, especially the plotting (my nemesis) or lack thereof.

Oh wow that's really flattering! :D I hope that devouring the whole thing is satisfying, haha. I had intended to post the last chapter today, but that's definitely not happening. Argh. Not enough editing time left in the day.

And just fyi I would love to read anything you write about your writing process, especially the plotting (my nemesis) or lack thereof.
Awesome, I definitely have thoughts on plotting! I'm planning to (try to) compose something readable about my process, and my hodgepodge of plotting and pantsing, soon.

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