Well, that's that I guess.

[ratbones]

Posting the last part of a longfic always makes me feel some type of way. This one was hard to write - I think it's the slowest I've written a fic, though not by a huge margin? - and I'm not quite sure what the current emotion is. In a lot of ways this fic is a rewrite of my first fic; the plot is wildly different so it probably doesn't look like a rewrite to anyone else, but I kept realizing, as I went, that I was reaching for things I'd tried to say a year and a half ago and saying them in a new way, maybe a clearer way, I don't know. They're different stories but they're connected. I don't think this one is better. It's just newer.

I have some things I've been meaning to post about (e.g. Word of Honor is pretty cool! I haven't finished it yet, pls don't spoil me!) but right now I am busy being buffeted by gusts of creative uncertainty.

Objectively speaking it's a good fic, I hope you'll read it if it's relevant to your interests! All of the above is just me getting way, way too into my feelings. I probably need to dial down the introspection and go meditate or mow the lawn or something.

Comments

[trobadora]

Congrats on finishing! I'm looking forward to reading it - I don't have nearly as much reading time as I'd like, but it looks super intriguing. :D

I kept realizing, as I went, that I was reaching for things I'd tried to say a year and a half ago and saying them in a new way

That's one of the best things about writing fic, how you can get at the same thing from multiple angles, again and again and again. :D

(Also, yay for watching Word of Honor too!)

[nnozomi]

okay, "busy being buffeted by gusts of creative uncertainty" made me laugh. You could sell T-shirts with that on. Congratulations on finishing the fic! For reasons I'm setting it aside to read later on, but I am super looking forward to it (along with rereading your other ones). Take good care.

[clevermanka]

When I got the subscription notification I was so conflicted! I've been looking forward to reading it so much but I don't have the brain to read much of anything right now. /o\ *crosses fingers my reading brain returns soon*

[ratbones]

Thanks! I hope you enjoy it whenever you get to it! <3

Yeah, that's a good point! Part of the joy of it is playing with your favorite things in lots of different contexts.

Word of Honor keeps surprising me with...how much I like it. :D

[ratbones]

Ahaha, that really is a Mood, isn't it. Very busy indeed. And thanks, hope it's a good read whenever you read it! <3

[ratbones]

Aww, yeah, I know that feeling. Sending good vibes for your reading brain to return from the war. The fic will wait for you ^^

[naye]

Ahhh, congrats! It definitely is a thing of many feelings to be DONE.

*sympathy vibes*

[extrapenguin]

I was reaching for things I'd tried to say a year and a half ago and saying them in a new way, maybe a clearer way, I don't know.
Oof, yeah, that's always an annoying feeling! Figuring out that hey, I've dealt with that theme in a prior fic already is one thing when the fic is done/in edits, but when I'm still writing it? The worst. (Also part of why I don't have a consistent "brand" – I'd get bored and wander off in search of shinies midway through Thematic Fic #2.) IME the best cure is to put in more ideas, whether by rewatching, talking meta, or watching/reading/playing something new.

(Or just wait for the pandemic to go. My writing and reading brains seem to be AWOL and getting ideas for my exchange assignments has been like pulling teeth lately. Never mind any free range fic. Sigh.)

[marycrawford]

Congratulations! Finishing a long story in this hell year is cause for MASSIVE applause. 🎉

I know it feels complicated sometimes, letting go of a story, but I hope you start feeling good about it soon.

[ratbones]

Thank you! <3 Yeah, somehow the jumble of feelings is always a surprise, too.

[ratbones]

I don't really mind that I circle around certain themes, especially when I'm writing the same characters - there are things I'm drawn to exploring there, and if they're really interesting they bear looking at from different angles. But...yeah, when you start to feel you've done one thing to death, blegh. I'm planning to finish Word of Honor, rewatch Guardian, and read some stuff completely unrelated to danmei for a refresh.

Writing and reading has definitely been harder for me as well during the pandemic, but I've now been writing fic during a pandemic for longer than I was writing fic before the pandemic, so...honestly I have no idea what to expect when it's over (well, who does, I guess, but you see what I'm saying.)

[ratbones]

Ah, thank you! :D That's a good point, I've been muscling through and maybe giving myself too little credit (I imagine that's a common affliction right now.) Handing the whole thing over to readers permanently is rough, but it seems like I grow fonder of my stories after I've handed them over, so...looking forward to that starting to kick in.

[tinny]

Yes, it's always a bit melancholy. But also good! Congrats on finishing it!

I love what I've read of it, and it didn't feel repetitive at all! (But I have that thought about my own work too.)

Sadly, I have dropped all my (reading) wips last month due to work-life-stress, but I hope to pick them up again in time, including yours, of course.

[ratbones]

Thanks! I'm proud of the fic, really, and slooowly coming out of the malaise. I'm very glad to hear that it felt fresh to you so far!

I totally understand stress eating up one's ability to read (I'm reading much less/slower right now than I'd like, too).